Fall Semester 2002
THEORY OF EVOLUTION (Summary)
First, there were some amoebas. Deviant amoebas adapted better to the environment, thus becoming monkeys. And then Unix was invented. (I am leaving out some details, but the theory itself also has a few holes that are best left unquestioned.) Anyway, it was a slippery slope after that. I am not sure we need to explore this any further, so let's move on.
I'm more of a sprinter than a marathoner when it comes to many aspects of life. For example, when I'm running. Over short distances - up to two yards - I can run faster than an average sprinter. But over long distances, I'm not so impressive. I try to compensate for my lack of long-distance endurance by having good form. I'm told that my running style is quite majestic. That's probably because I learned to run by watching nature films in which leopards chased frightened zebras. Now when I run, I open my eyes real wide and let my tongue slap the side of my face. If you saw it, you'd be saying, "That's very majestic." And then you'd run like a frightened zebra. That's why my homeowners association voted to ask me to do my jogging with a pillowcase over my head.